leaning into action
Should we do dark or light laundry today? Should we have chicken or sausage with macaronies to dinner?
These are a surprisingly common questions from my wife. It might not seem like much, but asking questions in that way makes both me and her fully stop, waiting for the other part to reply.
Uh, idk, yea maybe we could have sausage today? And what was the other question?
Often, I'm doing something else and won't hear exactly what she said, which creates unnecessary friction in our relation. She'll get upset for me not paying full attention and so.
A more optimal way of asking questions that have an obvious, immediate action is:
I'll go ahead and do the dark laundry right now. Is chicken and spaghettos ok with you?
That way, if I really need a light colored t-shirt for tomorrow, I can scream that all over the house to correct her wrongly taken action. Same with food choices: it very rarely matters much at all. I'm very fine eating the same thing multiple days in a row, like my wife and my kids.
I guess some people come from a culture where not asking before taking action is rude.
The zen of python actually does not cite this wonderful idiom, but let's pretend it does:
It's easier to ask for forgiveness than for permission.
(It's from the official python glossary)